come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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