with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We had sex on a dog bed..
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
