I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
