I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
