i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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