She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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