I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
so much tequila, so little girl.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
