I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I color on your dick again?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just want to make out with him forever
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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