i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
