yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
