I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
