You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
