..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
