She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
