Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
