It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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