Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
