Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize