he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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