I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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