i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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