new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize