More tranny stories later!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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