my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
