NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
