pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
