Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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