and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
