I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
