I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
