White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
