Apparently you make a good broom.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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