i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize