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all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
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