hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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