so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
