Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds