we're blogging at a bar
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything