school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
false alarm. still invincible.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.