I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
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Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...