i think my mom watched the whole time
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
this just has baby written all over it
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This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
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High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?