Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.