Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?