I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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