my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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