Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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