I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
A+ Viking dick
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