At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
