He is an equal opportunity slut.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
