somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
