The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Randomize
