Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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