I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
