I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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