the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
