Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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