she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
