My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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