Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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