Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
