And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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