i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
