so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
