I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
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We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Pants are for mortals
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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