Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
