I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
honey bunches of taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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