JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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